My Addictions and Why They're Good for Me Part 2: How and Why I Read on Average Three Books a Week

Hai dad,

Last time I discussed my addiction to weightlifting and how, though it has caused an injury for me, it has completely changed my life. Today I'd like to discuss an addiction that everyone likes to say they have, but I'm sure very few actually take the time for: reading.

So without much further ado,

Let me tell you a story.

Have you ever spoken to that absolute beauty? You know the one that you can't help but look at when you're around them, and you're doing everything you can to talk to them. But when you finally sit across from them in the lounge you look at them and say something stupid with a belch of a smile like "I like trees", and with their eyes glued to their phone they simply... ignore you.

You've said nothing of real value, and as anxiety burns a wildfire in your stomach suddenly the fear of rejection seizes your throat. You struggle with the words because, well let's face it you have nothing in common anyway. They're a thousand leagues above you. This person only cares about taking a good selfie and getting over 100 likes and knows nothing about the burning desire that is how you feel. Just like all the other pretty people.

 You begin to retreat inward. This is your tenth attempt to talk to this troglodyte and they won't even give you the light of day to say anything? Fire begins to burn in your heart and you begin to sweat as you endeavor to open your mouth for one more go. Embarrassing enough as it is to talk to a wall, you can do this, be strong; after all, don't they have those needs? They're just like you right?

And without warning they look up, your emotions begin to boil and your pupils dilate as you anticipate the mellifluous frequencies that burst forward from their mouth and interact intimately with your eardrums! Yes! They are alive! They're just like you!

And-

They're speaking to you; You! The one who farted louder than ever while doing pull ups in PE in tenth grade while all the popular kids in class were right behind you! Is this person insane? 

They must not be, they're really speaking! Oh! How you love them. No, you really love them, even if you only see them once a week in that class about... well whatever the class is about, you really spend the whole time staring at this person anyway. Mom'll be so proud of you. She'll say that you've made the right selection and dad will pat you on the back and think you turned out okay, didn't you just!

This will be a good day, dammit!

 Their words make love to your ears with a message that's simultaneously translated into your brain a flower of words so perfect:

"I have to go... eh-it was nice talking to you."

No matter who you are you most likely have been in this situation and likely on either side, several times. Let me tell you, so have I...

But that person "you" like can't make a connection with you it because you aren't relating to each other. There is no storied and sequenced bridge between you two with which to empathize. You don't see the insecurity that has trained that person and yourself into staring at your phones at constant intervals. You don't know how to relate to them in any meaningful way. They aren't working with you but you aren't working with them either.

But I'll tell you just what you need:

You both need reading.

Let me explain.

I just want to have a reason to say this once, 

just once

For starters, have you ever read a book all night because it was just so interesting you couldn't put it down? How about picking up your Chemistry textbook? No seriously try it, you'll wish you were dead in seconds, no matter how cool chemistry is. It is generally put into a written form as interesting as a Stephenie Meyer novel is for anyone who can read. But why do we read such dull things to learn?

Well, reading a variety of books will activate different parts of your brain. i.e. a focused literary reading "requires the coordination of multiple complex cognitive functions." While reading for fun increases blood flow to completely different areas of the brain. This is why you get tired reading that dry Chemistry textbook, but could stay up for two days and read literally all of Harry Potter. That also makes it like exercise for your brain, which we can essentially argue distinguishes between work and play in this regard. 

So what can that do for you? The findings suggest that what you're doing is also exercising your ability to focus by reading literary work. Essentially, the guy who can get through an entire Charles Dickens novel and actually enjoy it is likely going to be really good at finishing a project that defines the future of your company, and you reading that Chemistry book will improve your final exam grades.

But with all this activity, you might be thinking, if the brain is a muscle, and it's getting a workout... then are there any gains bro?

Well to answer your question. Yes, yes there are gains bro, especially for multilingual people. Reading has been shown to cause brain growth, and in people who read in a foreign language physical growth has been shown to occur in the hippocampus and the cerebral cortex. Which is pretty cool.

I mentioned increased focus earlier, but focus is something that doesn't have a measurable time span. Have you ever focused so intently on putting that thread through a needle only to be completely absent minded while sewing that hole in your pants? No, Just me?

Well...

Whatever my point is  that attention is important too, you can't finish that project or that Dickens novel if you can't maintain your attention to the subject at hand, well reading helps you there too. The structure of stories (the whole beginning, middle, and end stuff) actually helps our brain make connections by thinking in sequences, especially while we're children, which allows us to do another thing: improve our relationships with others. A story will actually make you feel the emotions of the character, as if they're happening to you, something I'll get to later. But this means that you know in your heart how Harry felt when he talked to Cho, and you can actually use that to talk to the Cho in your life and not screw it up.

Now,

I hear a lot of excuses and comments about reading:

 "I'm too impatient for that"

 "I don't know how you can read, I'd be so bored!" 

"I'd rather do something with my life" 

But mostly it's:

"I don't have the time"

"How do you have the time for that?"

"Oh, reading, yeah I'm too busy"

Well here's what I have to say to that bullshit, oh, and pardon my french if you're a religious man.

 (from Eleanor Brown's The Weird Sisters):

She remembered one of her boyfriends asking, offhandedly,

how many books she read in a year. "A few hundred," she said.

"How do you find the time?" he asked, gobsmacked.

She narrowed her eyes and considered the array of potential

answers in front of her. Because I don't spend hours flipping through

cable complaining there's nothing on? Because my entire Sunday is 

not eaten up with pre-game, in-game, and post-game talking heads?

Because I do not spend every night drinking overpriced beer and

engaging in dick- swinging contests with other financi-rati? Because

when I am waiting in line, at the gym, on the train, eating lunch,

I'm not complaining about the wait/ staring into space/ admiring

myself in available reflective surfaces? I am reading!

"I don't know," she said, shrugging.

Right in the feels with that one, Eleanor... Right in the feels

The world has an inherently negative view of the reader: who is a creature huddled in their own bookworld, absent from reality and prancing about in a fantasy. The reader is an ogre in Smeagol's body, a twisted spiteful homunculus who cares nothing of other people and ignores everyone.

And boy does can criticism go far.

I've been called boring, antisocial, lazy, apathetic, irritable. It's been suggested that I have no friends because "I'm always 'here' alone". It's been suggested that the person I might be on a date with and I must not have a good relationship because we're "ignoring each other" and reading.

People have literally looked at me with pity because I'm willing to eat with a book in hand alone at a restaurant.

Okay, I'll stop here before I write a manifesto

Now it's not a one-way issue. There are two sides to the coin.


I've made someone cry because of the manner with which I told them not to disturb me while I'm reading. I've noticed that my phone was ringing (PLEASE DON'T EVER CALL ME UNLESS YOU'RE MY BOSS OR FAMILY) and hid under the covers with a copy of LOTR until the evil agent of Sauron (may or may not have been the Chinese food delivery guy that day) went away. I've responded to texts with "I can't go out tonight, reading." I flat out ignore my phone for hours or days and simply clear the list of notifications without the slightest care about who's feelings I've hurt by not responding.

So, yes, I DO see where it can get antisocial.

But unless you're unbelievably beautiful, amazingly interesting, or a family member (or even all three), you're no Stuart Redman, or Victor Frankenstein, and I'm certainly not going to call you Ishmael.

It's not that I don't have the time, it's that I genuinely don't want to spend the time with you right now. I don't dislike you, I just have other priorities. And if you read more, you'd understand that. (｡•̀ᴗ-)✧

Needless to say, I get it I do get it.

 But now that my excuses for not responding to literally anything are out of the way,

I want to say now that I'm not about to brag about how much I read. Yes I will explain how I read the amount I do, but I'm not trying to show off like Tai Lopez in some half-assed (and disappointingly successful) attempt to make money off people.

This Booty noodle of a human being literally believes

reading only the back, index, and first page of every chapter

 of a book is the same as reading a whole book.

What a booty noodle

But I will state a fact: I read a lot. I average three books a week, reading at a bare minimum 25 pages a day (a minimum quota of 175 pages a week), and that doesn't include audiobook pages. I consume books and reread them and in some cases devour them.

"Give us this day our daily book, and forgive us our netflix binges,

as we forgive those who try to hang out with us. And lead us not into

temptation, but deliver us from distraction, Amen."

-The Bible, in the Jesus parts or something, 1:3

But here's something you probably didn't know:
I didn't actually read books until I was about 14 years old. It's true! As a child I actually avoided reading because there was always a television, or games I could play, or I was told it was rude to read while at the dinner table (a conditioning I still struggle with now, being barely able to eat without watching a video on most days).

 And though I did always boast about getting A's in Biology because I had read a biology textbook as a child, that was a one time deal, and it wasn't until Lois Lowry's The Giver that I ever took any real interest in reading at all.


And even that was short lived. I read, in total, maybe 100 books during my time in middle school and high school. And a large portion of those were all read in senior year as part of a half- assed capstone project that came about because I didn't want to take the time to build a telescope. Long story....

The point is, I was raised by television. Okay that's not entirely fair to the people who brought me up and there was plenty of time spent in and around libraries, but I say it this way because if a TV is on in the room, my eyes are glued.

That is conditioning.

That is also why I don't have a TV

Now, our family is one that is addicted to reading. Grandpa Kelsie, as you know was almost insanely obsessed with books, filling his house with them to such a point that it took, I wanna say MONTHS for us to go through and donate/ sell them. He had piles of books almost as tall as I am now, and stacked his shelves three layers deep. He had a library in his library for all I know. No wait, he actually did have a library in his library. Of course he was a bit of a book hoarder, and liked to stash away first editions and stamps and all sorts of cool things. But that's besides the point.

 And he's just one member of my family. On top of that I'm hit on both sides with a markedly academic group of readers, writers, librarians, professors, soldiers, nurses, and babies. Books have always been around me and it is only natural that I would eventually become the kind of person who reads 10-15 books a year.

But I'm reading more than ten times that number of books in a year.

So how did I go from a youtube and netflix binge-watching lump of a person to an obsessive reader?

Well, it all started with binge watching youtube.. surprisingly...

When I moved back in with my brother after depression and largely self-imposed relationship issues lead me to flunking out of the science program at BU in 2015, I spent most of my time constantly watching videos online. I was buying books and not reading them, and just wasting my life away in front of a computer screen. But after some time I got more and more into TED talks which led me down the rabbit hole into the world of self improvement channels.

As 2015 came to a close and 2016  came over the hilltops with all the panoply of war I binge watched youtube and began pulling myself from alcoholism and seeking help for my depression. Until I stumbled upon a book that I am ashamed to admit I've ever read, but continue to read over and over ever since I first purchased it.

I HAZ DAH PAHWAH!!!!1!

Robert Greene's the 48 Laws of Power takes Machiavellian philosophy to the modern world, and I have benefited so much from this book that I almost don't want to write about it like it's some deep-held secret of mine.

I've heard plenty of negative takes on the writings of Machiavelli, that they are a satire, or that Machiavelli was a vile creature who stalked courtrooms searching for power and surrounded himself in corruption.

Similar criticisms have surfaced in discussions of Robert Greene's works. The 48 Laws of Power is an unfortunate eye-opener in its composition, a slightly cynical writing style that assumes you'd rather use the laws in the book to achieve success than defend yourself from them to achieve success. Just to give you a taste, in the book there are suggestions ranging from never outshine the master, to destroy your enemy completely. So it isn't the kindest concept in the world.

But I just couldn't write about my reading addiction if I didn't mention that book. It opened my eyes as to how I was perceiving the world at the time, and how I was making so many mistakes socially and personally, which were simply forcing my life into a cycle of depression, anxiety, and alcohol abuse.

It changed my interactions with bosses and coworkers, allowing me to defend myself from power dynamics when needed and, to be frank, take advantage of situations that appeared before me.

I've read this book four times in the past year, and I even wrote down some of the laws and carry them with me daily in case I'm in need of that kind of encouragement.


But in any case that book got me hooked on self improvement. From there I was reading books on business, charisma, persuasion, writing, productivity, etc.

I talk about becoming who I am today because of this or that, and I'm gonna admit I'm finally getting to the point where we can discuss things that have nothing to do with the events from between one to two years ago, but every step of the way there really were books. I poured my heart into reading, I turned it into a hobby, and in a short time a daily necessity akin to water and eating.

books are strange devices, with several hours of entertainment but less than an hour or two's pay in monetary investment. They have unlimited battery capacity, and have been around for thousands of years.

Books are not like conversations with your average person. We are more likely to be persuaded by what we read, maybe due to conditioning via our education, but nonetheless, I have found that it's easier to change your mind when reading a book by some guy who died 50 years ago than it is when listening to your spouse, or that guy who worked in Wal~Mart for ten years and never had an issue getting items from the back room, so you should be able to take a palate down from the ceiling while they unload the trucks. Yeah, no way buddy.

Here, let my old friend Carl explain it:

Your imagination is a powerful tool. It is what separates humanity from most other species. We evolved to soak in a story in a unique way and extrapolate that information to make it relevant to our survival. Think about that for a second. We are hardwired to learn from stories. 

In fact it goes deeper, when we read or hear a story, especially a well written or orated one, our brain literally experiences the information as if it's actually happening. That means that when Victor wakes to see the monster's yellow eyes staring at him from above we not only see the eyes in the dark, we feel the fear. We hasten to jump and run out of the room. When Joffrey's face is turning purple as he suffocates, we not only imagine an image of that curly-haired twit's face changing color as he slowly dies, but we feel feel the smug satisfaction of relief and even the panic that rushes over Sansa as she comes to realize what was happening.

When you say "let me tell you a story", ears pop, people wake up, their minds narrow in so that they can gain what information you are about to present. But, let's face it, we can't talk to a thousand tribal chieftains, we can't memorize the history of every person who ever lived, and we don't have the time to talk to as many people as it would take to gain every necessary bit of information it takes to get ahead in life. 

So we have to come up with a system for absorbing narratives. Some people use movies and TV or youtube, with a short investment of time but generally at a higher cost. Others will go the harder rout and get an audio book, high cost and high investment. And still others will choose the ancient, written narrative, a low cost and high time investment. That brings most of us to maybe ten books a year maximum. Books are difficult to get around to, I certainly understand that.

But I make a pretty outstanding claim of reading on average three books a week. So how is that possible?

Speedreading.

Hahahaha I almost had ya there didn't I?


No I am strongly against speedreading, if you're a speedreader, or you believe reading faster is any way better for your reading comprehension, well, you're not a speedreader. A speed reader is just someone who egoreads, someone who just wants to say they read 400 books a year. Yeah okay bro, and I'm an underwear-stealing garden gnome.

Alright, now that those guys are gone and offended, here's what I mean:

speedreading has a negative correlation to retention of information, the faster you read the less likely you are to remember what it is you're reading. So it's really defeating the purpose of reading entirely, which is, as Carl was saying, to understand the thoughts of another person, to listen directly to the thoughts of another.

YES there are high-speed readers with insane levels of reading retention rates, but unless you are Kim Peek and were born with several significant, though gifting "abnormalities", you are quite probably like the rest of us and experience a negative correlation between memory retention and reading speed.

But don't worry! 我有个办法！(I have a method, sounds better in Chinese...)

There is a tactic that I employ that always seems to work wonders.

A daily minimum.

I demand that I read at least 25 pages a day, which if I stuck to would be 175 pages a week, so roughly one to two books a week which is somewhere around 48- 96 books a year. And that is specifically referring to reading with my eyes.

I exceed this by an upwards of 50 or more pages on an average day, and I have a little calendar book that I write down the number of pages I read that day as well as the title of any book I finished/ started that day.

For some people 25 pages might seem low, and for others it might seem high. I've found that for me, 25 pages is roughly a half hour of reading, which I schedule in to my insane daily schedule before breakfast, every day.

Just like Teddy

except he was a speedreader

and so was able to 'finish' a book 

before breakfast every day

But he was still cool

For the rest of the day after breakfast I just pick up one of the books I'm reading while I'm waiting on the waitress while at lunch, or when I finish working on an assignment, or when I'm about to sleep.
Somehow, by doing this I average 50-75 pages a day with this method but I'm sure that boils down to the type of books I read too.

I generally read one nonfiction book and switch to fiction in alternations as I go along. I have trouble finding usefulness in fiction, so I tend to take longer to read those books just to make sure I can absorb the message. But my general intent is to alternate literary books and 'for fun' reading to maintain variety.

But how am I doing it so fast? and three books a week might mean that I am reading more than one book at a time? Doesn't that get exhausting?

1: I'm not sure how, to be honest, I read at a relaxed, slow pace to be frank.
2: Well yes, I am.
3: Yeah it does sometimes.

In fact I am running out of books to read because I'm reading them faster than I am buying them. See I had a $20 a week book budget which is roughly 1-3 books if they're priced right, but is generally only one book... and when you read three books a week... that kinda adds up.

So how can I do three books at the same time?

Three answers:

1: Read fiction and non fiction and then grab a munchie (book that you can easily read quickly) that you'll plow through on the weekend

2: Read audible, and kindle books

3: Alexander's birthday extravaganza!

Celebrate!  \(^.^)/

...Okay so the first two are viable options for you if you're thinking of increasing your reading...

 The addition of non-fiction and fiction together makes it easier to read two books at once. This is a common method, but I would say adding a munchie to a week could be considered a lot like ego reading (Disclosure, ego reading is not something to be ashamed of unless you're a speedreader), so if you want to brag about the amount you read, this method works with the memory retention to prove it!

Audible is another option, and is one that I use. they offer a free month trial and the membership is really more of a free audiobook subscription than a membership plan. Audiobooks are expensive so you have to understand that the pricing is going to be hard on you, but if you're like me and consider books an asset then buying audiobooks won't phase you. I mentioned Kindle books here as well because I have found that I can finish more than one book a day if I read them on kindle. I personally prefer not to read books on an electronic device, but it is an option and does promote faster reading, if that's what you're going for.

What do I do?

Well I do a bit of all three. The birthday extravaganza, remember?

Is really just an added twist that has more to do with my situation than anything else. I use the audible subscription to buy a 40+ hour book once a month and if somehow I finish that I'll buy a cheap book or two until the next "free book" credit comes. On top of that I try to have at least one book in my bag that is actually interesting to me, and then two other books that are in either Chinese or Japanese, one of which is usually a graphic novel, so a munchie...

YES I CHEAT WITH MUNCHIES BUT IT'S REALLY GOOD FOR INFORMAL JAPANESE OKAY?!? OKAY??

༼ つ ͠° ͟ ͟ʖ ͡° ༽つ 

I'm actually in the middle of a transition with this program which might actually decrease my number of books I can read a year by a large degree. I'm slowly ceasing to buy books in English so that I can better prepare for my JLPT exam in the fall, so I'm going to no longer read books in English and will instead just read in Japanese/ Chinese for a while.

Most recent shipment

I'll be getting books like this

 every week from now on

So I mentioned earlier that I read for 30 minutes to get that 25 pages in, so when do I listen to audible?

I listen to audible while I'm exercising, cleaning, cooking, and driving. It is a great way to read while doing things that require no added thought, and a heads-up if you're looking to increase the number of books you read, Siri can actually read your kindle books to you as well, so you can listen to books whenever you so desire.

And that method just works for me. I suggest you experiment with this, and see what works for you. And I'm also curious, if there are people who read as much as I do, what kind of methods you use? Do you do what I do or something else entirely? If you're a linguist, have you had difficulty finding audiobooks in your target language?


Of course, I've gone on for quite some time here, and I couldn't begin to describe how thankful I am to both you, dad, and all of the people who took the time to read this.

I promise you all,




Reading will change your life.

Pick up a damn book and see for yourself!

Love,
-Alexander

My Addictions and Why They're Good for Me Part 1: the Drug that Changes Your Body

Hai mum,


So by now you should be aware of me leaving the Hookah bar. I've switched to a new bar and have been rushed into my position as a bartender. This new job is great: pays more, customers tip more, and I am required to speak Chinese during my shift! As far as bar-tending jobs in the US go, this is one of the best options for me. But it is expensive, I'm working seven hour shifts now starting at 4:30 pm, which is one of the reasons why I have been less than responsive to most emails and calls lately.

Before I left the hookah bar I made sure I got the chance to draw on their white-board one last time (as well as edit a picture I drew there a short while before). Have a look!

(of course the selfie was mandatory)

Just an update: the sign hasn't 

been touched since I left.

That last day was a particularly busy Thursday, but nothing I wasn't used to. It's been odd being away from that bar, but my lungs already feel better and so do I.

Oh I almost forgot to upload the picture I drew on the board a few weeks before I left! I'm quite proud of this one, if you like I'll make a post of all of the drawings I did on the whiteboards over the year I spent working there.

Annd que segway into the actual topic

I'm going to admit something. I'm addicted to drugs. Heavy drugs. I do these drugs every day and they've more-or-less taken over my life. And no I'm not talking about heroin or coke. I'm not talking about tobacco either.

 I'm talking about taking a specific drug so much that it hurts, so much that once it's no longer fun, once all you want to do is stop, you find that you can't stop, and with a huge crazy smile on your face, eyes bulging with insanity, you push it to the next level, you take even more of the drug.

What is it? Here's some more hints:

Disclaimer: You may be surprised by the amount 

of Star Wars references in this post...

I once watched a fantastic youtube video on drugs, one that completely changed my view on how we perceive drugs in society. The premise is that drugs are essentially tools of escape, that they are nothing more than a substance that changes our perceived reality, by calming our mind, or altering our body composition, etc.

A simple drug, one that I know dad uses, and that I used often in my earlier stages of depression is going for long walks. A long walk clears your head, takes you to places you may never have gone before, can change your perspective on your place in the world, and is actually quite healthy for your heart- parts. Drugs in this category include exercise, music, long drives on Sunday afternoons meditation, reading, gardening, etc.

I think he's reading an autobiography of Arnold Schwarzenegger

Nice 

But there are other drugs, like alcohol, which is a complex molecule that acts as a depressant, seriously impairing multiple areas of the body, particularly your brain and liver. It makes angry people more angry, sad people more sad, and happy people more happy. It's a drug we all use, as it is ancient, and is considered the common language of all people on the planet (yes, even you, religious fundamentalists). Drugs like tobacco, coke, marijuana, television, and of course alcohol all fall into this category of drugs.

As always, being in a cantina this is 

one of the greatest scenes in star wars.

I no longer take the walking drug. It always seemed to add to my depression. And alcohol, if ever, is limited to an absolute minimum, as it ruins the effects of the daily drugs like to I take. But I still have my vices. In this part of my two part post, I'm going to discuss a very specific one of my many daily drugs. Do you need more hints or should I keep going?

This shirt= one of the best gifts ever

 (I'm somewhere in between M and L just sayin)

I'm talking about getting swole.

I've mentioned it before, and I'll say it again. I lift weights. I lift weights a lot. I've gained weight doing it, I've almost hurt myself doing it, I actually did hurt myself doing it (more on that later), and it has become a daily dosage of pure pump.

For me weightlifting is one of the greatest drugs I've ever been exposed to. It has completely changed my life. And I simply can't get enough of it. It's boosted my energy levels, it's allowed me sufficient time to make strange faces at myself in the mirror, it has made me more confident in my appearance, it has made me proud of my failures, and proud of who I've become.

Coincidentally I would also like this shirt, 

I mean this would make a great gift for your son,

I mean  for the person you know that likes Teddy and gettin' swole

Yeah, that last one.

All this because one day, about a year ago, I stood up and said to myself that I'm going to go to the gym five days a week.

And now I'm going every day and so much has changed.

This wasn't my first time going actually.  Nor was it my first time making this plan. About a semester earlier I went to the gym and got into a routine, and then began to realize that what I was doing wasn't working.

Why?

Cause I was monkey-ing around

(*v*) get it? 

heheh...

All I was doing was paying $295 a year for exercises I could do at home, without sweating. In other words I was going to the weight room and not actually lifting weights. I was doing ten pullups a set, almost 300 pushups a day, and getting nowhere.

I then stopped after the semester ended, started working at the hookah bar, and began running five miles at midnight, every night. I don't know why I did this, it just felt like the right thing to do at the time, smoking will do that to your head I guess.

However it wasn't until a bodybuilder that bounced at my old job pointed out to me that, if all I was doing was pullups my arms would be huge by now that I realized what I was doing wasn't working at all. This guy's arms are the size of my head so... I took his words to heart.

I started thinking, I was doing these bodyweight exercises and they really weren't giving me what I was looking for. Yes I could do more pullups (I had no idea I was doing them wrong by the way) and I could always crank out a hundred variations on pushups, and hell the monkeybars are always fun. But there was no gain in weight, in fact I was losing weight!

How?

Like it or not, a pushup IS an endurance cardio workout. So you may build up the useless ability of bearing with repeatedly pushing yourself off of a floor, but you're also actually increasing your heart rate by doing it. I suspect people who can do over 50 bodyweight pullups have a similar impression of them.

So,

I got up the next day and felt different. I don't know what it was,  but I went to the gym and reopened my membership.

It was a rocky start, I had nothing but a gym membership and the internet, and I spent countless hours scouring it just trying to figure out how to even work out (a process I still continue), and I decided I'd have to make a schedule and figure everything out.

So the reason I decided to address this one to you, mum, is because I remember in highschool and in my old college at least five separate occasions coming to you with a detailed, hand written, daily schedule that would never last a week. You were always a great support in this regard but what was lacking was any self-motivation, a huge fault of mine that haunted me for so long that even now I can hear it in the distance.

So like always I turned to the internet to find out just how to fix this.

The internet is a treasure trove of information (and misinformation). So long as you have a keyboard and can type words into the google search bar you have the entire wealth of human knowledge at your fingertips.

But for me, youtube was the place to go. That year, I would spend hours watching TED talks and had always found something satisfying, so I figured that it wouldn't hurt to use a familiar platform for information.

 Unsurprisingly, on youtube I started figuring out how to make a schedule that is actually usable.

 I have always been a fan of using modern technology for its intended purpose, and so stumbled upon this. Which is essentially just a video on weekly planning using a computerized calendar. And is one of the most important videos I've ever watched.

I then looked up the workout schedule of a man who's body I had always thought was the look I would like to have:

Seriously, I have almost always admired 

The Rock's physique.

And after looking at The Rock's workout schedule I started simple, I would do arms one day, chest another day, shoulders, back, and legs. 

So a five day split. I made a lot of mistakes with this that I am still to this day fixing, more on that later.

My body was "big" to begin with. I started at about 73 kilos and at 186cm with an entire highschool career of leg workouts and cardio during PE classes, a fast metabolism and surprisingly little atrophy despite my thyroid disorder and time spent doing literally nothing while at Alfred..

Needless to say my body was not about to waste time doing easy exercises. And I quickly found myself working out more and more and becoming obsessed. I was watching so many workout videos that my spare time was spent between lifting and youtube.

I started taking protein shakes, and I started joking with that bodybuilding bouncer that my goal was to be as big as him before he quit (He actually ended up quitting in January so he could prep for a competition so I never did reach that goal). I asked him so many questions, went ahead and followed everyone he followed on social media, I figured I needed some human guidance in this, and if he could do it so could I.

I eventually started to get the hang of it, and gained some weight, up to 75 kilos. I made a goal of 90 kilos by the end of 2016, and started going to the gym every day.

Now, earlier I mentioned I made a few mistakes, well one of them was not immediately seeking out a partner. I would have probably met that 90 kilos goal by 2017 if I had a partner.

Another was cutting out cardio and making it only a warm-up exercise for a five minute run on a treadmill, this caused me to actually burn fewer calories and thus actually be less hungry! I also made little effort to research proper nutrition and ate pretty much whatever I wanted.

But after the fall semester ended and the spring one began, I got my head in the zone and changed everything all over again.

Since at the time I was also preparing for the Chinese Bridge Competition I ended up doing some crazy things too. I had an insane schedule:

 I was getting up at 4:00 every morning except weekends, cooking breakfast and lunch before going to school. Around this time I had discovered Anki and so would spend hours in the library at school working on flashcards and then doing homework while eating breakfast (which was a three hour long meal that I packed in before class) and then after going to class eating before practicing and FINALLY going to the gym for two whole hours of "to failure" sets with a whole new workout routine.

That routine was a bodypart seven day split, where I chose one muscle group a month that I would work out twice a week and then rotate that as I went through. So a typical week during the tricep month would be Triceps, biceps, shoulders, triceps, Back, chest, legs, repeat. I'd then go home and be in bed by 9:00.

I started this after somehow becoming obsessed with this guy:

But I don't get why he stuck with that awful

 hair style for so long.

Arnie and his roommate would get up ridiculously early every day and cook and clean their apartment before going out and lifting until they made this face:

And THAT is when their workouts began.

Anyway the point is that they had a schedule that was meticulous and to the point. They searched for an inward focus that kept them from all of the distractions and drugs that would hinder their progress.

Now I'm not going to lie, last semester was the LEAST stressful semester of my life, and I was the most busy I had ever been up to that point. Sure I missed a few days here and there, and sure I got bogged down and even took whole weeks off from doing anything at all, but it was probably one of my most successful semesters ever.

And I blame that entirely on my devotion to this schedule.

Now I'm not Arnold, and my focus is actually not Bodybuilding nor is it a field I see myself making money in. I have always been a polymath and though I would love to be able to work out all the time, I have other vested interests. But this drug has been a gateway to those interests for me.

My focus on improving my body has kept me from literally every other bad drug out there. Even binge watching netflix (or more recently crunchyroll) and internet addiction. All of them were nearly completely eradicated by this drug called weight lifting.

Here's a list of just some of the side effects I've experienced from this awful gateway drug:
Increased metabolism
Increased appetite
Complete loss of depression
Disinterest in going to night clubs
Formation of the habit of a daily schedule
Regularly waking up feeling awake and well rested
increased grades at school
increased motivation to go to classes
confidence
10 kilos of weight! (5 shy of the original goal, which has now become 100 kilos)
something interesting to say when people ask me what my hobbies are
and so much more!

With every drug, though, there are always negatives.

Most notable: Injury.

Anyone who weightlifts CAN get injured. Injury is, contrary to popular belief due to improper form while doing an exercise and not an inevitability of weightlifting. Proper form is easy to learn and is widely available to research via simple google searches and maybe a few hundred thousand youtube videos. Just look up a search under the workout name followed by 'proper form' and you'll find what you need.

This is where one of my other mistakes comes in. ALWAYS have a friend to work out with for potentially dangerous workouts to know if your form is off. If you're alone, don't hesitate to ask the staff the proper form for a workout, they aren't just paid to watch you lift, they're paid to help you too.

Storytime:

I have a pinched nerve in my back as a result of my working out in the gym. Right now, being one of the rare moments that I actually would sit down, I have a sharp pain in my right quadriceps and an awful ache in my back.

What happened? Improper form on a lightweight exercise:

Back Extensions

There is a reason many people hate this exercise. And I am high on the list of those people, because I was doing this very exercise when I pinched my nerve.

Look at that image above one more time. The motion begins at a roughly -45 degree angle and ends at a zero degree angle. Doing this exercise correctly and with a neutral back is an almost entirely risk-free exercise.

So what was I doing? Over extending by roughly up to 30 degrees at the lift, and down to -90 degrees at the start, with only 20lbs held to my chest. You see, this exercise is deceptively dangerous in that you know you can over extend, you feel like you're doing nothing wrong when you over extend, and then you get a sharp numbness where your sciatic nerve begins and you think, "That is not good".

And so I never did back extensions again. Literally won't ever try it and won't ever suggest that anyone do them.

About a month later I began to have pain in my lower back, and four weeks later here I am waiting on x-ray results.

Two months..

Here is where a real issue comes in, and that is the public, non-lifter's impression of lifting: "It leads to injury". Factually this is null, lifting weights has been shown to be extremely safe and healthy for the body and is recommended for anyone over the age of 12. Yes, even little old ladies should be doing some sort of lifting.

The reality is, even though your joints may weaken as you get older, having a stronger muscular and skeletal frame actually prevents joint related injury. That said if you're an idiot like me and don't use proper form you might have a bad day, or 30 of them.

So what happened when I went to the doctor? Well they were a little more than a bit condescending. In fact I got the impression that the overweight nurse believed wholeheartedly that her sedentary lifestyle was actually significantly healthier than me "lifting" 180 lbs on a tricep cable pushdown.

She was even openly aggravated and scoffing at me when asking me how much weight do I lift, making a "you deserve it" expression.

I was thinking:

I wasn't being sarcastic when I said "a lot, like over 150lbs", and I certainly was not joking when I said "every day", how else am I going to gain weight, I'm genuinely smiling while talking to you, why are you being so mean?

This unfortunately is common when weightlifters and bodybuilders seek medical attention for their mistakes. It's not an everyman's hobby and most people think of it as something only narcissists and D-bags do when they aren't looking in the mirror or killing kegs. 

Oh and when did my daily back pain actually start? "Coincidentally" while lifting a keg at my old job with a non-neutral back.

Seriously would have been fine if I had learned how to do deadlifts before lifting that damned keg.

Either way I went from this:

To this:

Surprisingly quickly. This drug may have injured my back but there is no doubt that it has drastically changed my life. Even my eating habits are different, cooking my own meals has led me to finding that healthy foods taste better and even make me feel more energetic after eating them, and sure they may not be as convenient as a hot pocket but my god do they taste better than one.

All I can really say is that we shouldn't be saying no to drugs, we should be finding the drugs that actually give us the satisfaction synthetic drugs advertise. What do you think? Do you think I'm just bastardizing the definition of drug to explain why I exercise?

Let me know,

Love,

-Alexander

P.S. Dad, Happy father's day! I know you spent the day packing and getting ready for a flight, but I hope you had a good one! I'm proud to call you my father, always have been, always will be.